the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize