i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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