I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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