Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
