He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your shirt... Was in my pants
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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