Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
