What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
