that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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