I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
