i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
