Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
