i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
