that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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