I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
