My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
