I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
