i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
