This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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