You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you told grandpa to call you daddy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
