Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
