Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I would fuck him just for his dog
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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