I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
