just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dicks are not precious.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
