the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
