Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
