I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
