Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
