Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
