Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
