No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
