Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
