I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
