After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
