I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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