New invention idea: vibrating tampons
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize