none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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