woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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