I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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