A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
