We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
