i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
