good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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