just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
