I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
