My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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