Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize