Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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