Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
