Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
