He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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