He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
