So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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