this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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