He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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