I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
