I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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