can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
