did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
