I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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