I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
