I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
