Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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