I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
