I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
