god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
