these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
