We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
